Why do people bully?

Why Ateneo student Joaquin Montes became the most hated bully in the Philippines

“Bully Atenista” Joaquin Montes became infamous after an amateur viral video in 2018 showed what seems to be Montes, who knows Taekwondo, bullying another student. Apparently, he claimed self-defense.

There was also another video that showed the brave Joaquin hitting another boy who was much taller than him.

Joaquin doesn’t fit the bully stereotype. Naturally, his dad defended him through a post. However, it made things worse. It prompted a veteran army to challenge him in a video. “I blame the parents for that,” Joseph Otazu said.

Although he posted an apology on his Facebook, most comments said it was not sincere and he was claiming victimhood. Montes and her mom appeared on GMA TV to apologize.

Several fake Facebook accounts were created in Joaquin’s name to spite him. A week after the incident, Diego, his older brother, was said to have been flogged.

The incident gained so much traction that some politicians asked for an investigation.

→ Nett Gochuico, bullied by his dad, became a bully himself.

Why do people bully?

According to an anti-bullying study, people who bully or those with aggressive behavior had experienced stress or trauma as a child. Bullying is a subcategory of aggressive behavior, and having such increases self-esteem.

Bullies are characterized by being antisocial or tend to manipulate or control others. It is essential to differentiate between two types of bullies:

1. Those who have low self-esteem use aggression.
2. Those with high self-esteem and have high status in the peer group use aggression to seek rewards at the expense of their victims. ^[NCBI]

What does God expect from parents?

I struggled with one of my children whose constant whining and hurtful words pierced my heart many times. With all my knowledge in child-rearing, I had no answers. Then, God impressed three things that also apply to every parent:

1. God sometimes ‘gifts’ us difficult children because we’re the only ones who can love them unconditionally, not others.
2. Kids can be mean sometimes. Retaliating with more meanness will only produce exasperation God could be teaching you to be forgiving, patient, and loving. However, if a parent tolerates this behavior and without proper discipline, the child will grow up disrespectful of others.
3. If you think you’ve done all you could, the only constant thing you can do is to pray. One of the best gifts parents can give is to pray for their children each day, even if they’re all grown-up.

Parents should lead by example

Children should not see aggressive behavior at home. It means parents should never throw things, shout, or cuss. Likewise, nagging mothers can cause lifelong psychological damage. ^{[Independent UK]}

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

KIDS COPY OUR BEHAVIOR.

WATCH VIDEO: Ateneo High School Junior Bully

RECOMMENDED READ:
Seven Biblical lessons for kids to have high grades.
Gifts you should never give to kids below 12 years.