How to handle two types of difficult kids with bad attitude
Kids who are “rude” and who “fight back” are the two attitudes most challenging to face. The younger they are, the harder it is for them to control their emotions. The problem, most parents use anger to discipline. That only makes things worse—I know.
We are like mirrors to our kids. When we shout, they will learn to shout. If we disrespect their individuality, they will ignore our discipline.
It’s parents who should first change
All my kids are picture-perfect! They’re straight A’s model students. At home, they read the Bible, eat vegetables, and do choirs.
But just like any other child, they’re never perfect. If they were, that makes me a “perfect parent,” and that was my problem—I wanted perfection. To unlearn perfection, I learned the following.
A “child bully” can be a result of a dysfunctional family or wrong modeling. Nonetheless, this character begins at home. That is why we cannot allow kids to have the habit of fighting back authority. Two things I have learned in dealing with it.
- Brain wise, “tweens” find it difficult to process and understand discipline and obedience. Deal with it when their brain waves have settled.
- When they fight back, its time for “unconditional love.” Give them respect even if they don’t deserve it—that’s modeling positive behavior. Don’t feed anger more anger. (John 15:12)
. Deal with it when their brain waves have settled.
Thinking Words: Instead of saying, “You don’t do that to me, I am your parent!” rebuke them in love. Say, “The words that come out of your mouth are hurtful, I cannot talk to your right now.” See more examples of thinking words.
“Black sheep” in the family seems to be a proverbial truth, and I was one when I was a child. Even if I’ve disciplined all my kids in the same manner, one stood out to master “rudeness.” It was heartbreaking and pernicious. Three things I’ve learned:
- Since rude behavior violates self-respect, we must prepare to be humble and zip it. The best way is to ignore and deal with it at a later time.
- Rude behavior is unacceptable, but only the parents can help a child struggling with this bad behavior. They need unconditional love.
- Jesus treated those who mocked Him with poise and respect, even if they did not deserve it. The best way to fight rude behavior is with more respect. Eventually, love always wins.
The best way to fight rude behavior is with more respect.
Thinking Words: Instead of saying, “you have no right to treat me like this,” say, “I will still treat you with respect because I love you.”