Examples of thinking words instead of an angry shout to 12 years old below

Dr. Charles Fay, author of Love and Logic teaches a method that works better than getting angry. Kids may obey out of fear, but anger can result in resentment. We should never shout at our kids or anyone we love for that matter. Instead, use “thinking words” and give a little space for your child to “think it over.” Here are a few examples:

→ How to handle disrespectful kids.

Talking back

Parent – “Hey, you don’t turn your back when I am talking, I am your mother!”
Thinking words “You can turn your back after I am done talking, this will be done quickly if I am talking eye to eye with you” (Proverbs 15:1)

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Ignoring

Parent – “How many times have I called your attention, are you deaf?”
Thinking words – “The rule in the house says we only call you once. I have been calling you for (certain times) and I have to implement the consequences.” (Proverbs 12:18)

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Study time

Parent – “I told you to study!”
Thinking words – “The time we have now is for studying, the soonest you finish, the soonest you can have your free time” (Proverbs 16:21)

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Eating habits

Parent – “Please finish your food and eat your vegetables”
Thinking words – “The soonest you clear your plate, the soonest you can have your free time, you know the rules”; “I know you don’t like vegetables, but your tummy loves it, make it happy.” (Proverbs 16:22-23)

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Constant whiner

Parent – “Lower your voice and stop complaining!”
Thinking words – “You can talk to me when your voice is calm” (Proverbs 16:22-23)

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RECOMMENDED READING:
The formula for millennial parents to have an obedient child.
Consequences of angry and hurtful words and how to fix it.
To spank or not to spank?