Examples of thinking words instead of an angry shout to 12 years old below
Dr. Charles Fay, author of Love and Logic tells us that angry words will get us nowhere. Kids may obey out of fear, but anger can result in resentment. Parents should refrain from shouting or bursting into anger. Instead, we should use “thinking words.” Here are a few examples:
Parent – “Hey, you don’t turn your back when I am talking, I am your mother!”
Thinking words “You can turn your back after I am done talking, this will be done quickly if I am talking eye to eye with you” (Proverbs 15:1)
Parent – “How many times have I called your attention, are you deaf?”
Thinking words – “The rule in the house says we only call you once. I have been calling you for (certain times) and I have to implement the consequences.” (Proverbs 12:18)
Parent – “I told you to study!”
Thinking words – “The time we have now is for studying, the soonest you finish, the soonest you can have your free time” (Proverbs 16:21)
Parent – “Please finish your food and eat your vegetables”
Thinking words – “The soonest you clear your plate, the soonest you can have your free time, you know the rules”; “I know you don’t like vegetables, but your tummy loves it, make it happy.” (Proverbs 16:22-23)
Parent – “Lower your voice and stop complaining!”
Thinking words – “You can talk to me when your voice is calm” (Proverbs 16:22-23)
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